Living with a Child Like Q

On By LaIn parentingLeave a comment

My third son, let’s call him Q, is a different kind of child. We have known this since he was very young. He is super creative, he is always making up elaborate stories (sometimes called lies). He is extremely artistic and showed lots of talent at a very young age. He is hilarious and generally lives in his own world. Much of the time he plays on his own creating elaborate worlds with legos or art. He sounds like a great kid, right? And he is!! But with all that super creativity comes a slight downside: he isn’t always super present in the NOW. He also has a SLIGHT (think GREAT) tendency to get easily distracted. Now I LOVE Q with all my heart and enjoy him immensely, but he can frustrate the devil right out of me! Like make me want to lose my mind, have a high speed come apart, completely lose my sh….stuff.

This past Sunday is one particular example. We were all getting ready to leave for church. The kids are dressed. I am dressed. All I have to do is dry my hair. I pull out my hairdryer and see that my diffuser is missing. I have curly hair. I CANNOT dry it without my diffuser!! I look for it. My husband looks for it. I am now yelling at my kids trying to figure out who knows where it is. I KNOW that chances are GREAT that Q has taken it. I mean, it looks cool. It has little spikes on it and will roll….who knows what it could be in the world he lives in. Everyone is running around looking for it. Q says that he remembers seeing it….BUT….he can’t remember where…. I have now given up on going to church. I will just stay home because we are going to be super late at this point and I still have to find my diffuser and dry my hair. Frustrated beyond belief and a little hacked off, I go to take off my shoes and place them under my bed, when WHAT DO I FIND????? My diffuser! “Oh yeah…..I tossed it in your room when I was done playing with it. It’s really neat!!” Oh, Q, I am so glad that I love you! (We did make church even though we were very late.)

I do love him, but Q’s unique abilities and the way he looks at life, much of the time frustrate the rest of us “normal” people. I will never forget when Q was five and we were leaving on vacation. My husband and I had packed the car. I had given the four boys the final, “everyone use the potty and get your shoes on and get in the car instructions.” Not sure if you’ve traveled with kids, but we NEVER leave on time!! We all load in the car and start our journey!! Finally!! About a mile down the road, I turn around and notice that Q has no shoes on. “Q, where are your shoes?” “I don’t have any.” ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!?! Me, trying not to flip my lid, “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T HAVE ANY?” Q: “Well, I couldn’t find them and you said to get in the car.” Me: “Don’t you THINK you will NEED them in GEORGIA?!?!?!?!” No. He didn’t. He didn’t see anything wrong with heading off on a vacation 7 hours from our home with no shoes! Needless to say, we turned around, headed back to the house, and found his shoes which were no where near where they were supposed to be. Life is NEVER boring with Q!!

I am not sure anything hurts quite as much as someone not wanting to be around your kid and not appreciating their uniqueness.

We LOVE Q and we have adjusted our expectations to know that he is sometimes going to be in left field. It is the artist in him. The wonderfully, talented, creative artist soul in him. However, some people do NOT appreciate this about him. I have found that with Q you either adore him or you don’t want to be around him. I am not sure anything hurts quite as much as someone not wanting to be around your kid and not appreciating their uniqueness. But it happens! And it hurts! We know that God has created Q the way he is. God doesn’t make mistakes! He, in His ultimate wisdom has created Q for a special purpose.

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Ephesians 2:10

I just have to remind myself that those who can’t see this are really missing out because his amazing qualities FAR outweigh his frustrating qualities.

Someday, I may write a book of all the funny things that have happened with Q. Lord knows that I have enough for more than one volume!! I am grateful that God gave Q to us!! He helps to increase my patience and makes life truly interesting!!

We are all, each and every one, unique in the Universe. And that uniqueness is what makes us valuable.

–James A. Owen

Sensational Sunday -Power Cooker

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Several years ago, my mother in law bought me a Christmas gift that changed my life! She bought me the Power Cooker XL.

This is an electric pressure cooker, but it is not an Instant Pot. I have a friend who had another brand and she couldn’t put frozen food in it, which completely defeats the purpose of having one!

The particular appliance never leaves my counter top! I use it at least 4 times a week. I LOVE that I can put frozen chicken breasts in it and 25 minutes later they are completely cooked! When I make chili, I cook the frozen, ground venison, chop it up, then add the beans and tomato sauce. I have chili that tastes like it has been cooked all day in 45 minutes. Many recipes can be prepared in one pot.

As a homeschooling mom and a working mom about 9 years ago, I have always had trouble remembering to lay out frozen meat to put in the slow cooker or I would think of a slow cooker recipe at 4:00pm. Most slow cooker recipes can be easily converted to pressure cooker recipes. This has added an ease to my life that I cannot explain. This is by far my very favorite cooking appliance. It even outranks my kitchen aid mixer! If you have never used one, I highly recommend a pressure cooker!

Valentine’s Day

On By LaIn marriageLeave a comment

Valentine’s Day is one of those holidays that you love or hate. Some people think it is a giant money maker for Hallmark and florists, some LOVE everything about it, and some hate and despise it. Personally, I really like Valentine’s Day. I think much of how you feel about the big love day has to do with your expectations or the expectations that you feel are placed on you.

Today is the 20th anniversary of our second Valentine’s Day when we were dating. We hadn’t been dating very long for the first, so it was pretty low

….never in my wildest dreams did I expect to see a two drawer filing cabinet with a big, red bow on it.

key. On the second, however, we had been dating well over a year and I had high hopes. We already knew that we were going to get married, but I knew I wasn’t getting a ring yet. I can remember him pulling in to pick me up for our date! I was so excited! He said that I had to come to the car for my gift. I don’t know what I was hoping for, but I can tell you that never in my wildest dreams did I expect to see a two drawer filing cabinet with a big, red bow on it. I was stunned! And not real sure how to react….I mean, who gives office furniture for Valentine’s Day? I was polite, but he could tell I was really confused. I mean, it was a FILING CABINET!!! He began to explain that he knew that I had trouble keeping all of my college papers together and organized for my portfolio, so he thought this would help. It was actually a super thoughtful gift. A whole lot more thought went into my filing cabinet than flowers or jewelry. Not that we haven’t laughed about it for years! But if Valentine’s Day is truly for showing someone how much you think of them, my husband (then boyfriend) hit it out of the park! It was just not what I was expecting or what we are taught to expect, so I was disappointed.

I have had Valentine’s Days where I got jewelry and flowers and chocolates. That being said, my husband and I have had years where we watched a movie at home and ate pizza and showed each other the card we WOULD have bought each other, but didn’t. Many years ago, I told my husband that I didn’t want him buying me flowers for V Day. They jack the prices and the flowers die quickly. I told him to buy me flowers a day or two later when they clearance them! Plus, I prefer daisies or carnations to roses. I also told him not to get me any expensive jewelry because I don’t wear it. If I ever see something that I really want, I let him know. We also take turns planning the day. I mean, he’s my valentine too….it shouldn’t all fall to him! My point is that we laid out our expectations. Now there is no disappointment and my husband enjoys the day better because he doesn’t feel such pressure to do everything he is “supposed to”.

Truth be known, if we handled most things in our marriages, relationships, friendships that way we would be happier. It is difficult to meet expectations that we don’t know we are being held to. For example, my husband is great at washing and drying the clothes! He will diligently start a load, dry a load, and put it in a basket. I LOVE the help, but when I go downstairs there are 20 gazillion baskets to fold! I felt like I was drowning! I would get so mad! I was mad at my husband for WASHING. THE. LAUNDRY. Which makes me sound like an idiot! Finally, I just told him that I got super overwhelmed and if he was going to do it, I needed him to slow down and let me know that there were baskets to fold BEFORE he filled the basement. Problem solved. I let him know my expectation and he met it. He thought all along that he was meeting (or exceeding) my expectations by washing as much as he could.

It is difficult to meet expectations that we don’t know we are being held to.

If today you find yourself disappointed or maybe even irritated with how Valentine’s Day is going, ask yourself if your person knows what you are

expecting? Are you expecting flowers sent to your work? A fancy gift? A night out? Something very heartfelt (like a filing cabinet)? Let your person know!! They love you! They want to make you happy! Just give them direction. It doesn’t make it any less romantic, I promise!!

Love isn’t about finding a perfect person. It’s seeing an imperfect person perfectly. –Sam Keen

Sensational Sunday –Lip Tint

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Remember that I am a self-proclaimed make-up reject. So when Amazon posted an article about ten make-up items that you might love on Amazon, I read it. And when it mentioned the lip tint Ink Velvet by Peripera, I thought, “Why not?” The article said that this particular lip tint didn’t dry your lips out and was very affordable. I ordered two: Wow Pink and Hip Beige Pink.

I have found that the best way to apply it, is to put it on with the wand and let it sit for about 1/2 an hour. Then I blot it and wear. It took a little bit of trial and error since the instructions are all in Korean. I have found that I only have to use lip balm about twice a day with this product. It has also amazed me how it lasts ALL day! I documented wearing it all day.

When I first applied the Wow Pink.

After breakfast and lunch and two glasses of water.

5:00 after a snack and two more glasses of water. My face is showing absolute irritation with my kids. Hahaha! Life!

After dinner, drinking from a straw, and using a napkin. I did not reapply this product.

In the morning close up. At night close up.

As you can see, the product has lasting power. It truly does not dry out your lips. I have really enjoyed it. The Hip Beige Rose is a more natural lip tint and I use it on days that I want a more natural look. I LOVE this product. I paid $8 for one and $10 for the other. You can purchase the product at Amazon:

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=peripera+ink+velvet&crid=23HYUKOKDALB0&sprefix=peripera%2Caps%2C179&ref=nb_sb_ss_i_5_8

This is a Vlogger Video that I watched before purchasing:

If I walk outside without lipstick, I feel naked. — Sofia Vergara

The Deconstruction of Ten Minutes

On By LaIn parenting2 Comments

The dirty truth is that you can prepare as much as you want. You can make sure that everyone has what they need. You can make sure that everyone has something to do. You can make sure that everyone is peaceable….but the minute you step into the shower, EVERYONE will need you!!! I do not understand this phenomenon!!! I JUST DON’T!! Truly, I am only in the shower for a max of 10 minutes. HOW can the world completely implode in TEN minutes?!?!

Today, I hadn’t even stepped into the shower when there was pounding on the door. Of course, if you have ever had to decipher the screams from a child while the shower is running, you know that it is IMPOSSIBLE!! Finally, I understood that the two littles wanted to put up a tent in the family room….a TENT. I hadn’t been out of the room for two minutes!!!! They were playing nicely with the magnet tiles and now, suddenly they want to camp with a TENT in the family room. You probably don’t even have to guess that the answer was no!

Before getting in the shower, I had given both big boys their lessons and gone over the instructions. I have told them numerous (think thousands) of times that if they need help and I am unavailable they need to go on to the next problem or subject. During the first half of my shower BOTH of them knocked on the door to ask for help. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!

HOW can the world completely implode in TEN minutes?!?!

How exactly can I help you with your math when I can’t see the problem, not because there is shampoo in my eyes, mind you, but because there is a DOOR between us!!! Finally, I can see the light at the end of the shower tunnel and I am rinsing off, when my middle child (God love him!) comes to knock on the door to tell me that one of the littles called him a butt head and that the dog wants in the bathroom with me. Seriously, all FIVE kids and the DOG interrupted my 10 minute shower!

This same phenomenon occurs when I try to go to the bathroom and when I have to go to the laundry room in the basement. Everyone can be completely calm, but the minute I get downstairs, it sounds like we have been invaded by a storming army. Why is this?? Why can children not give us just a few minutes to ourselves? I don’t have the answers, but I know that moms across the land struggle with the same issue.

Kids are needy and they seem to really like us. I guess that’s why they want to share all of our time! I suppose when they are teenagers they won’t do this anymore and then we will miss it….or so I am told. For now, I am going to continue to deal with interruptions and dream of a long, relaxing shower where no one bothers me!

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable. –Lane Olinghouse

(or get in the shower!)

Sensational Sunday–My Favorite Kid Apps

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I have several different ages of children. For this post, I am just going to talk about a few of my favorite apps for my littles. These are apps that are great for the 3-6 year old range.

Learning apps: One of the newest apps that I found recently is Khan Kids. It is made by the creators of Khan Academy and is gear towards kids 2-5. I love this app. It is great for my kindergartners and it is a free app! Here is a video:

I also love the app Kiddopia. My kids really enjoy this app. It incorporates learning with very fun activities and super cool graphics. You can download a free version that has some activities. You can get the whole app for $60 a year. It really is a great app and has activities for ages 2-7 or 8.

The final app that I am going to recommend in this post is Hoopa City. It is in the Dr. Panda series of apps. It is a very fun app geared towards children 4-7, but my older kids like it too and will play when no one is watching! This app is similar to sim city for youngsters. You get to build your own city. By combining more than one of various items and you get new and bigger items. For example, if you combine 4 windmills, you get a power plant; 4 power plants and you get a nuclear power plant. We got this app for free through Amazon, but it is now $3.99 and worth every penny!!

These are three apps that my younger kids love! I hope that you enjoy them. I love that they make learning fun and that I can give my kids some screen time without the guilt.

I LOVE watching you play!!

On By LaIn parentingLeave a comment

Recently, our two oldest boys started a bowling league. Of the two, one of them is incredibly athletic. He can do almost any sport and it comes naturally to him. The other isn’t very athletic, but he loves to play. They’ve played soccer, done running, and now they are trying bowling.

Back when we signed the boys up to play soccer, I was amazed to find that parents were incredibly invested in their kid’s performance. Some of them were even talking about scholarships. These kids are in the SECOND GRADE!!! They should be learning fundamentals and having fun!! I know that winning is fun, but it isn’t the most important aspect of sports. I have seen parents scream and berate their kid for missing a goal, not being aggressive enough, and not blocking a shot. I have seen the joy and fun leave a kid as fast as his or her shoulders can sag.

As I sat in the bowling alley, I listened to the parents sitting next to me “instruct” their daughter on how to bowl better after each frame. They told her over and over to get her head in the game. I could tell she was frustrated. I wanted to pull her aside and just say, “Hey, just have fun! No worries!” But that’s hard to say when the parents are obviously NOT concerned with fun. Some of the kids in the league have been bowling competitively for years. My kids have bowled like five times. Of course, they threw some gutter balls and they didn’t break 100. The first thing I said to them when they were finished was, “Did you have fun?” Not what was your score, how did you do, or what could you improve on. The next thing I said was: “I really enjoyed watching you bowl!”

A few years ago, I read an article written by a coach. I don’t remember the article or the author, but I do remember what struck me as so important. The author said that the first words you should say to your child when they walk off from the field, court, or lane is: I LOVE to watch you play! Those words have nothing to do with a kids performance. They could have the best or worst game, those words don’t indicate that. That phrase expresses the joy that your child brings to you by doing something that they enjoy. Time for correction, tips, and teaching can come later. These words put no additional pressure on a kid to succeed.

The world is a hard enough place and kids will be there on their own all too soon! Right now, they should be doing activities for the joy it brings. They are learning valuable lessons while having fun: cooperation, teamwork, encouragement, winning with grace, losing with grace, practice, endurance, perseverance, and many others. If activities become miserable and high pressure for kids, they won’t learn these lessons.

Let’s start a revolution! When your kids finish their activity, commit to saying, “I LOVE watching you _____________!” being the first phrase that you say to them!!

I love the winning, I can take the losing, but most of all I LOVE to play.” –Boris Becker

Sensational Sunday –Maybelline eyestudio eyeliner

On By LaIn Sensational Sundays3 Comments

Truth be told, I am not a makeup person. I only wore makeup for special occasions until I was probably 35-37 and decided maybe I should do it everyday. Even then, I feel like a makeup reject! I wasn’t a teenager that spent hours perfecting my makeup and I am not an adult who watches makeup tutorials on YouTube. That being said, I was out with some of my girlfriends one night and we stopped by Target, the holy grail of shopping stores! While we were there, one of my girlfriends suggested that I try Maybelline eyestudio eyeliner. It comes in a pot with a brush for application. It looks so much more complicated than the regular crayon type pencil I normally use, but I decided to give it a try.

It is so much easier than the other pencil/crayon applicator! I LOVE it!! With most of the pencil type applicators you have to press fairly hard and I never felt like the eyeliner actually came out well. With the brush, you control how much eyeliner is on the brush and it always go on smoothly! I highly recommend you try it.

I am ProLife

On By LaIn Uncategorized4 Comments

It has been a week since I posted. Between jury duty and sickness, I simply neglected my blog. That’s life! Then I had time to write, but needed time to think. Social media has been blowing up this week over the newly passed law in New York allowing abortion to term. I have seen angry posts, excited posts, grieved posts….and it has taken me a while to process and formulate my response. Here it is.

I am ProLife. I need to say that upfront. I am a huge adoption advocate. When I heard about the new law, I waited for the anger to come….but it never did. I have watched the videos and read others’ responses, I expected the anger to come, but it didn’t. When I watched the video of the jubilant signing, all I felt at first, honestly, was numbness. I just felt numb. I felt numb all week.

In this country alone, we have approximately 500,000 children in foster care. In the world, there are 153 million orphans!

The more I processed, the sadder I felt. I grieved for the babies that would never know love or a gentle embrace. The ones who would never find their purpose or experience life. I grieved for the moms, who will experience emotions and consequences that they probably aren’t prepared for. I grieved for the judgement they most likely will experience from family and community. I grieved for those who signed this law, because they don’t even realize what they are doing. Then I got angry.

I became angry. You see, I am ProLife, and I believe that as a Christian, Christians should be ProLife. ProLife means that I am Pro life in the womb, I am Pro adoption, I am Pro elderly, I am Pro mentally and physically disabled people, I am Pro taking care of the orphans, I am Pro helping the homeless. I am angry because I know so many Christians who will rage in anger at abortion. My question is: What are you doing about it? In this country alone, we have approximately 500,000 children in foster care. In the world, there are 153 million orphans! What are the self proclaimed ProLife doing about this?? Are we taking in the abandoned, are we adopting the orphans? Are we mentoring the fatherless? Showing love to the unlovable? That is what we are commanded to do! We, as the CHURCH, are commanded to stand in the gap for those who have no one just as Christ stands in the gap for us!

Love requires us to inconvenience ourselves, to make ourselves vulnerable to hurt and ridicule.

LOVE is a VERB!! It is a word that calls for action! It is a choice, not a feeling. Love requires us to inconvenience ourselves, to make ourselves vulnerable to hurt and ridicule. It requires us to reach out to those we don’t want to reach out to. It requires us to love those we would rather despise. Some of my ProLife friends have expressed anger and hope for judgement on those who passed this law, I don’t think that should be our response. We cannot expect those without wisdom and understanding to act with wisdom and understanding. Instead, we should feel grieved for them. I hope that their eyes are opened to the truth. We should be fostering, adopting, mentoring those children in hopeless situations. But we become too consumed and focused on having a comfortable life, on life being easy, on giving our birth children everything that we think they should have. This is NOT what we are commanded to do! We are not promised easy, comfortable, and prosperity. We are commanded to LOVE, to rescue, to offer hope, to lift up knowing that we will be rejected, ridiculed, abused…then we LOVE again!! My question is: Are we doing this? Are we doing all we can?

We WILL NOT end abortion through the government and the repealing of laws. This will never happen. Our hope isn’t in the government and laws. Our hope is in CHRIST!!! Only showing people, the people who our flesh wants to despise, LOVE and pointing them to CHRIST through LOVE not judgement, will we be able to end this great sorrow in our nation.

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. –1 Peter 4:8

Tidying Up

On By LaIn Uncategorized2 Comments

There are a few goals that are almost always on most people’s New Year’s Resolutions: one is to lose weight or to get in shape and the other is to get organized. It seems that many of us try to accomplish these every year and see the start of a new year as a good time to start. Netflix seems to agree with us and so they introduced a new show, Tidying up with Marie Kondo.  It is all the rage! People can’t seem to get enough of it. My Facebook feed has been full of people who have been inspired to clean out, straighten, and organize their spaces to “spark joy” in their lives. What choice did I have, but to join the masses and watch the new show? Which is exactly what I did.

Right away I was terribly disappointed. You see, I like to watch TV as an escape. I am usually multitasking while watching. I could be working on my blog, like I am right now, or checking Facebook, or playing a game, the point is that I like to multitask. Well, Marie Kondo is Asian and English is not her first language, so when she speaks it is usually subcaptioned. Of course, this meant that I had to do nothing else, but watch the show. I had to really pay attention, which was a little frustrating.

Now I am going commando and letting the girls fly free for the rest of my life all because my undergarments don’t “spark joy” for me.

I will say that Marie Kondo seems like a lovely person and she does have some truly good advice on organizing. However, when she asked the people she was helping to take a moment and talk to the house, thanking it for being such a good protector, well, she lost me a bit. It seemed a little like she was praying to the house; eyes closed, kneeling, silently thanking the house. Sorry I don’t mean to be critical, but that sounds and looks like praying to an inanimate object, which just does NOT coincide with my own personal belief system. It was just a brief moment though, so I decided to overlook it.

This is when we come to the moment where Marie decides to help the woman go through her clothing. She tells the lady to pile everything she owns on the bed. Then she is to take each and every piece of clothing and hold it and ask herself, “Does this spark joy?” For those of you wondering, “spark joy” means, does it give you the same feeling as seeing a puppy. Just going to be honest here, but at this point all of my underwear and bras are now in the give away pile, because they have never made me feel like I am looking at a puppy. Now I am going commando and letting the girls fly free for the rest of my life all because my undergarments don’t “spark joy” for me. You know what else doesn’t “spark joy” for me? Anything that doesn’t make me feel like I am wearing my pajamas! Let’s talk about the other things in my home that don’t “spark joy” for me: dirty clothes, trashcans, bills, sometimes my kids and husband! I guess I am getting rid of everything!! Well, maybe not my bed or my actual puppy…..and, of course, I will keep my kids and husband. The point is that everything in your life can’t “spark joy”.

You might be asking, “What happens to the items that don’t ‘spark joy’?” Well, you donate them, of course! But not before thanking the item. So thank you bra for always holding up the girls, but you do not make me feel like I do when I see a puppy, so off to Good Will you go! Frankly, I am not partial to thanking inanimate objects. I guess it is fine, if that’s your thing, as long as they don’t start talking back to you!

As my grandmother used to say, “I watched that show twice, my first and last time!” I really wasn’t impressed or inspired to follow any of her organizing methods. The only one I have agreed to try, is her folding method. If this will help keep my children’s dresser drawers straight, then I will adopt it. If not, I won’t be wasting the extra time it takes to fold things the MarieKon way!

Exactness and neatness in moderation is a virtue, but carried to extremes narrows the mind. –Fancois Fenelon